bruised not bruised

you wrap me around you
like a shawl or a cape
and similar to outerwear
you place layers between us
protective fabric to keep you shielded
from the environment of me

you said, i can't let you in
yet that's where i have been
so i'm retracting all my wants
trying to draw them out through your flesh
back to the sanctity of my own
internal storage space--
they were too bruised, too
raw, to have ventured out safely yet, 
they are almost glad about this

my marks from you are nearly gone
faded to wan shades of days ago
i said, there's barely any trace
of the ways you changed to my skin
i'm returning to a blank surface
as though we'd never been

i am most liked by you
when wanting and not having--
something about the distance
something about the desire
keeps you feeling safer
keeps you looking longer
than does the reality
of my touch.